Banke Part 1

26 Jul

So this is my first attempt at story writing technically. I write and act drama scripts but they are nothing compared to this in detail so please read and comment. Tell me what you think. I wanna get better at this and I need your feedback. So here is Banke, it’ll be in 3 parts and this is the first one. The rest coming up shortly.


As the town hall bell made it first sound, gboin! As is our custom, all the children start counting. I don’t remember who started it or how and when it started, I just know that whenever the bell starts, we count till it stops and the number would be the exact time of the day. Funny thing is the grandfather clock in my father’s room makes the exact same sound but nobody pays attention. And gboin! I hope I didn’t miss a count…that should be 8, i.e. 8pm.

Yay! My favorite time on Tuesdays – time for night time stories in the village square. I quickly carry my plate to the kitchen. “Segun come back here and finish your food” my mother said. I’m full maami, you want my stomach to burst? My teacher said that whenever someone eats too much at night, it would cause…”okay, okay, I hear you. The food must not waste is my own concern, feed it to Thunder before you go”. Since I learnt that trick, it has worked unfailingly, you see, my mother is uneducated and I can easily bamboozle her with my teacher said this or that. I have no idea what will happen when she figures it out or perhaps she has?

I better leave before my dad returns or else I’ll miss the story tonight, so I rush out, shout Thunder-our overfed dog, poured the leftover of amala and ewedu soup which I had cut into little pieces on the concrete floor, dashed into the kitchen to drop the plate before running out of the house. I ran so fast my heels almost touched my head. I had to get there before my favorite spot on the extreme of the second row to the right was taken. You see I loved that seat not for any reason that involves the story teller or the story but because from that very vantage position, I get a good view of Banke – the most beautiful girl in our village – no offense to the others;  To me she is the most beautiful. I took my seat before one other guy could get it, I mildly pushed him to sit because of the speed with which I was coming.

Now seated, I look eagerly around to see if my friends have arrived, oh!  There is Mathew, Kekereolu and Tope with him – the three tallest boys in my class, I guess birds of a feather do flock together. A quick wave from me and a quiet nod from them was the usual greeting. That done, I turned my attention to the feast before me – Banke. This Banke girl just gets my eyes, her chocolatey skin gleams in the moonlight in ways I cant find words to describe. Its like in those movies my uncle brings from the city every December, where everything else becomes blurry except the person in the middle; I saw only her and my heart stirred. She has like the longest hair of all the girls and it falls in waves like the Okupa river at high tide. She has that very peculiar gap in her teeth and when she smiles, they sparkle even at night…oh no, she is looking my way, I look away quickly before she notices “ so the tortoise said to Yanibo” said the storyteller. Yeah! You guessed it, I’ve never spoken to her before, I doubt if she even knows my name…




Posted by on July 26, 2012 in Maiden, Stories


5 responses to “Banke Part 1

  1. 'Dammy Fagade

    July 26, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    this is a first attempt, then i guess the whole story is gonna be WOW. I’d better reserve my comments on the story till it is concluded……… More of His divine grace and unction bro!!!

  2. Ahrah

    July 27, 2012 at 5:50 am

    Bro, dis is wao!! I love it.

  3. sagay

    July 28, 2012 at 9:27 am

    Oya, where’s the part 2?

  4. Photizo D'sl

    July 28, 2012 at 11:22 am

    Overlordnoni. I eagerly await the other parts of this piece. I’m sure it will make sense wella. keep it up. Now following u on twitter!

    • hasarla

      July 28, 2012 at 11:46 pm

      Thanks bro. Working on the 3rd part now. To drop it soon


Please, your comment will be well appreciated. Drop It

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: