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Monthly Archives: July 2013

Home – Memoirs of the Lost

Hey folks, welcome again. I set out to write prose poetry and when I put my pen to paper, it took a whole new form, don’t think I pulled it off but you be the judge of that. I try to always write victoriously or at least from a victorious point of view. So in that vein and without much ado, I present to you HOME – The Memoirs of the Lost!

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HOME
It’s dark out here and I can barely see, I’m choking on the dust-laden wind that seems determined to push me off my feet with its ferociousness. I stagger and stumble on a nearby stone. My feet hurts as if I’ve been journeying barefoot for a while, it looks like I stepped on broken glass. Jeez, where am I? And how did I get here? What on earth am I doing here? Where is here? And how do I get back? To who I am, to where I should be, how do I get back home?

Finding no answers, despair starts to sink in, planting its poisonous roots in my weakened mind. I had so many plans, so much I wanted to do – have a shelf that will be filled with laurels, find love, build a home, raise a family and live and leave a lasting legacy behind; So much to do with so little time; and now this? I tried to take a step forward, since it’s often said that the journey of a thousand miles starts with a step, then I halted, which way is forward? I couldn’t be sure of anything. It was too dark to find my footsteps and retrace them. Then I remembered; my eyes are closed.

And on opening them, I quickly realised one thing – the darkness was still there, but it was no longer as intense and all-consuming as before. I couldn’t identify any light source after looking around so I looked up, and saw the glimmer of a star – a lone star. And I could swear it twinkled when I looked at it. Something like; “I’ve been here since! You just were not looking up, too preoccupied with your surroundings”. The twinkling star was talking or was I hallucinating? This is bad! I’m hearing a star talk…in English. Oh this is really bad.

Since I had nothing to do, no one for company and apparently nowhere to go, I looked up and it twinkled again. Again and again it twinkled. Oh God, let it not be Morse code. I closed my eyes and looked again and there were two stars in the dark sky. The new apparition appeared west of the former one. I took a step forward and the former star disappeared. Quickly I took that leg backwards but it didn’t reappear so I returned my leg forward and looked upward. In my mind saying “what now”? But this star didn’t twinkle; I could swear it wasn’t even looking at me.

Then it occurred to me, the star appeared when I didn’t know what direction to take and the new star appeared westward of the former one. Bingo! I had my direction. West! Home! Where the Sun lives! I looked back to thank the star and I saw the both of them and they twinkled at the same time. And in my mind I replied “Gotcha”.

This is an analogy of sorts. I could tell you what it all means, but that will take the fun out of it. Try and figure it out. I promise you you’ll feel smarter and you will become it. A quick tip though – There are three heavenly bodies in the piece; the rest is for you to figure out. Thank you for reading always and God bless you.

I remain @OverlordNoni

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Posted by on July 20, 2013 in Inspiration, Poetry, Stories

 

Alone!

Alone i sat in my room. My room mate had gone to work, my neighbours were otherwise occupied, NEPA(Never Expect Power Always) or PHCN we’re being…well…themselves, there was no power on my laptop, nobody was replying my whatsapp messages. Facebook is long dead and my twitter Timeline was particularly dry. So it happened that i was alone with my thoughts.

Here was i in my twenties, sitting alone in a dark room, lonely. My whole life ahead of me, not many regrets to chew on, tons of choices still ahead of me  and i was lonely. It just didnt feel right. Something was off and i couldnt place it.

Then it occured to me, i was lonely in an empty house, with a near empty wallet, a definitely empty pot, an unoccupied(for now) heart and i could not but feel the pains of those whose now quiet houses and homes were once upon a time filled with the laughter of loved ones, spouses or children. Gone never to be seen, heard or talked to again. That thought mellowed me. The loss humbled me.

The thoughts of those who once  upon a time called money by its name and it answered multiple times, those who couldnt categorically say how much was in their accounts cos there was no need to. What was fact was that there was money! Nothing else mattered. People whose houses were once filled with choice cars, the magnificence of such houses were a marvel in themselves. But now, their living conditions would at least extract a shake of the head from any who saw them.

My mind further wandered and wondered about those who always had their fill of whatever their hearts desired, who at this present moment shout for joy at the sight of the barest of meals.

And lastly of those with hollow hearts, those who have lost their love to death, to the largely inexplicable idiosyncracies of fate. Those still asking how or why? Those who feel the loneliness more because they had their fill of exuberant company.

I couldnt but think about these people and what loneliness and being alone must mean to them, about how hurting it must be.

Perhaps somehow you are one of the people mentioned here, i have something to say to you.

First things first, find it in you to give thanks to God. Because however bad it is, it could be worse. Let the tale of the man with no shoe and the one with no leg teach you something. It could be worse. So be grateful that it isnt. And if you’re a cynic or by virtue of your experiences have become one, listen and listen good. God does not have to prove anything to you. With or without you, He is God! He is supreme and doesnt need our validation to feel like a God. So do yourself a favour and bear no animosity towards God.

If you’ve lost someone to the cold hands of death, i beseech you to live a life that is worthy of them. A life that will make them smile on you from heaven. Be it a father, mother, son or daughter, friend or family. Live a life that will bring a smile on their faces. Make the life that you have count for something, if not for yourself, do it for them. And whenever you miss them so badly you just want to roll up and cry, remember that they are there with you. You may not see them, but feel their prescence and be strengthened.

If you have fallen off your horse and humility has been forced on you. Dont remain in that state forever. Get back up on your feet and take positive steps to rebuilding your life. Get back to where you were and beyond. You can do it! Get your dignity back, reclaim your self respect. And if you must go out, do so in a blaze not as a ghost of your former self. They say “Quitters never win and winners nevet Quit”. Prove to yourself which you are.

Dont let past bitter experiences steal your future sweet ones. You have to move on, your world may have bern shattered when he/she left, they probably left a whole so big and wide that its impossible to fill it. But set yourself on a healing course and take things one step at a time and one day at a time. And soon, you’ll be whole again, you’ll be yourself again, be happy again.

And as for me, i would chase my hearts delights so that if tides do turn, i’d have with me sweet memories and great  experiences to keep me company and learn from until they turn back.

To you who will play my heart’s strings, i know not who you are but i will live a life worthy of you.

These were my thoughts on that fateful day. I hope someone learnt something. Do make sure you share this so that enough people can read and get what you got. Thank you very much and God bless you.

I remain @overlordnoni

 
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Posted by on July 10, 2013 in Christianity, Inspiration

 

Hey Swinger

Happy one moment and cold the next, and you’re wondering “what did I say or do wrong”? Most people can’t even say why, “That’s how it just happens, deal with it” they say. And I used to be like that. I’m talking about record breaking mood swings that will make you gape! How can you go from all that high to an inconceivably low low? For the observers, friends and those in close proximity at the time it occurs, it just doesn’t make sense. I mean she was just laughing and making jokes a moment ago and now a shrug is all I get for my basket mouth-esque joke, and in honest concern, you ask whatsup? The answer is universal, it may vary now and then but it’s always NOTHING or any of its many relatives. It just baffles me. I had a friend back in secondary school that used to do it, I didn’t understand until I started experiencing mine. And I didn’t like the feeling one bit!

So I ripped myself a new one. What I don’t like, I check if I have control over it, if I don’t have control, I see if I can gain control, if it seems as if I can’t, I refuse to take no for an answer until I gain control,  and I go ahead and change it. It wasn’t easy I tell you. And over the years I made a couple of observations that I think may be helpful to you who always have recurrent episodes of mood swings (and are unhappy about it), or you have a partner or friend who experiences them.

  1. We may say we don’t know why, and that it just happens out of the blue, but that isn’t all true. 30 minutes ago, I was all chirpy and now I’m feeling blue. I transport myself back to my last chirpy period and trace my way to the present. Where was I? Who was I talking to? What were we talking about? Did I agree to whatever they were saying? Did I see something or someone? For example, you were with your friends, and you see a couple walking by hand-in-hand, with so much love in the air. And you are a 35 year old unmarried and single lady. Unless you are a very secure person, it’s bound to hit you, and not wanting to think about it….again, you subconsciously shut down your mind. And of course if asked, you answer NOTHING. So there’s almost always a trigger for every mood swing. I do not know how to show anger, I hardly show it unless it’s gotten here *points to the neck*, I naturally suppress it, that triggers a mood swing for me. Arguing with someone on something so basic that why we are even arguing about it is befuddling. Something as ridiculous as “Pop and rock is the same thing, or every song has a baseline (the latter honestly happened)”, after arguing back and forth to prove him/her wrong unsuccessfully, I just shut down. Or at times I’m just tired, try being a director in an overnight drama rehearsal with tired and/or lazy people and let’s see if you won’t get tired. Those are my own triggers that I’ve observed. You have to find yours and either preempt them or find ways to deal with them as they come.
  2. Also, you’ll get to a point in life that you can’t afford to have such mood swings. The same way it gets to a point you dare not switch off your phone, you get so involved in the smooth running of things to a point that if you are unreachable, even for a few hours, hell literally freezes over. If you’ve ever been involved in the planning of an event, you’d have an idea of what I’m talking about. While some are quick to say “they won’t kill me”, taking responsibility for the success or failure of the event actually shows maturity. Remember, he who is faithful in little things, will be faithful in much. I’m talking about responsibility here; I’m talking about being too busy to have time to entertain your mood swing. Even if it is genuine.
  3. The things you say or do not say, do or don’t do during your mood swings can affect you negatively. In an office setting, it can cost you your job if you have an unkind boss. If you don’t get it together, it can put a strain (unnecessary?) on your marriage and in communication with your husband or wife. Also, your decision making is somehow impaired during these episodes and in a very competitive setting; it’ll cost you dearly because it affects productivity.

This is the part where I say “I hope with these few points of mine; I’ve been able to convince you and not confuse you that Mood Swings are bad for you” but you already knew that. What to do about it is the purpose of this piece.

Snap out of it!

I find it to be as simple as that. You can’t afford it, you don’t need it, So what are you doing with it? I know it’s not as easy as it sounds; but I also know that practice makes perfect. It’d benefit you greatly if you can get your swings under control. And do not complicate the solution for it. Just snap out of it. Even if it comes when you are alone and not doing anything, allowing it fester could just lead to clinical depression and your case would have to be transferred from the psychology department to the renowned psychiatry department. I’m sure you don’t want that. We all don’t!

Please feel free to add anything you know on the subject. Thanks.

So Hey Swinger, snap out of it.

I remain @OverlordNoni

 
 
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