Alone i sat in my room. My room mate had gone to work, my neighbours were otherwise occupied, NEPA(Never Expect Power Always) or PHCN we’re being…well…themselves, there was no power on my laptop, nobody was replying my whatsapp messages. Facebook is long dead and my twitter Timeline was particularly dry. So it happened that i was alone with my thoughts.
Here was i in my twenties, sitting alone in a dark room, lonely. My whole life ahead of me, not many regrets to chew on, tons of choices still ahead of me and i was lonely. It just didnt feel right. Something was off and i couldnt place it.
Then it occured to me, i was lonely in an empty house, with a near empty wallet, a definitely empty pot, an unoccupied(for now) heart and i could not but feel the pains of those whose now quiet houses and homes were once upon a time filled with the laughter of loved ones, spouses or children. Gone never to be seen, heard or talked to again. That thought mellowed me. The loss humbled me.
The thoughts of those who once upon a time called money by its name and it answered multiple times, those who couldnt categorically say how much was in their accounts cos there was no need to. What was fact was that there was money! Nothing else mattered. People whose houses were once filled with choice cars, the magnificence of such houses were a marvel in themselves. But now, their living conditions would at least extract a shake of the head from any who saw them.
My mind further wandered and wondered about those who always had their fill of whatever their hearts desired, who at this present moment shout for joy at the sight of the barest of meals.
And lastly of those with hollow hearts, those who have lost their love to death, to the largely inexplicable idiosyncracies of fate. Those still asking how or why? Those who feel the loneliness more because they had their fill of exuberant company.
I couldnt but think about these people and what loneliness and being alone must mean to them, about how hurting it must be.
Perhaps somehow you are one of the people mentioned here, i have something to say to you.
First things first, find it in you to give thanks to God. Because however bad it is, it could be worse. Let the tale of the man with no shoe and the one with no leg teach you something. It could be worse. So be grateful that it isnt. And if you’re a cynic or by virtue of your experiences have become one, listen and listen good. God does not have to prove anything to you. With or without you, He is God! He is supreme and doesnt need our validation to feel like a God. So do yourself a favour and bear no animosity towards God.
If you’ve lost someone to the cold hands of death, i beseech you to live a life that is worthy of them. A life that will make them smile on you from heaven. Be it a father, mother, son or daughter, friend or family. Live a life that will bring a smile on their faces. Make the life that you have count for something, if not for yourself, do it for them. And whenever you miss them so badly you just want to roll up and cry, remember that they are there with you. You may not see them, but feel their prescence and be strengthened.
If you have fallen off your horse and humility has been forced on you. Dont remain in that state forever. Get back up on your feet and take positive steps to rebuilding your life. Get back to where you were and beyond. You can do it! Get your dignity back, reclaim your self respect. And if you must go out, do so in a blaze not as a ghost of your former self. They say “Quitters never win and winners nevet Quit”. Prove to yourself which you are.
Dont let past bitter experiences steal your future sweet ones. You have to move on, your world may have bern shattered when he/she left, they probably left a whole so big and wide that its impossible to fill it. But set yourself on a healing course and take things one step at a time and one day at a time. And soon, you’ll be whole again, you’ll be yourself again, be happy again.
And as for me, i would chase my hearts delights so that if tides do turn, i’d have with me sweet memories and great experiences to keep me company and learn from until they turn back.
To you who will play my heart’s strings, i know not who you are but i will live a life worthy of you.
These were my thoughts on that fateful day. I hope someone learnt something. Do make sure you share this so that enough people can read and get what you got. Thank you very much and God bless you.
I remain @overlordnoni