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Ebola: Public Service Announcement

25 Aug

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Good morning fellow Nigerians. My name is Boluwaduro Asala, I’m a pharmacist and this is a Public Service Announcement!
Our president Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan has declared a National Health Emergency to avoid the spread of the very deadly Ebola Virus Disease. In lieu of this, you are to take note of the following;

Ebola is very contagious and transmitted via contact with body fluids such as; Blood, Saliva, Semen or Body discharges. If you notice, there is one activity where 3 out of the four body fluids mentioned are exchanged. And that my people is coitus, sex, or love making. This is a National Health Emergency my people, and I propose that this activity be stopped for the next three months so as to prevent the spread of this very deadly disease. That also includes oral sex and kissing. If you must cuddle, do so while waddled up like The Baby in a manger. In no time at all, you’ll get so hot, you won’t need the other person. The officials say only visibly sick people should be avoided. I say let’s be safe eh? No sexual activities for 3 months!

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Ebola is not air borne, so all of you that have bought face mask; una too try! Unless of course you are one of those people who like to gesticulate with spittle instead of your hands, by all means, protect us from yourself.

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Only about 10-30% of people who get infected with this disease survive. I know that sounds small but…no buts really, it’s very deadly! It kills in a few weeks. This is one of those cases where prevention is honestly and really better than cure. This my people is because there is no cure for Ebola

Which is where we come in really, let me shout this very loudly THERE IS NO CURE FOR EBOLA!!! The following are the symptoms of Ebola Virus Disease;
The first and most important symptom is high and sudden fever. When this occurs with
Diarrhea,
Vomiting,

Headache,

Weakness,

Joint & muscle ache,

Stomach pain,

Lack of appetite,

Sore throat and

Bleeding from the any body orifice that blood shouldn’t be coming out from.

Looking at the symptoms individually, they are fairly common but when you notice 4 or 5 or more symptoms out of 10, you should get help. My advice is; don’t go to the community pharmacy – there is no drug for Ebola Virus Disease. Don’t go and complain to the ‘Omo Ibo’ on your street that sells medicines – he is not a healthcare professional. Don’t go to your village – why do you want to truncate their hustle? Don’t go to your pastor – unless you’re really very sure he/she is a man/woman of faith. Don’t complicate matters with naiveté. What you need to do is to commute yourself to the nearest secondary or tertiary health institutions where they would be able to properly handle the disease.

The patients who survive (10-30%) are often those who were under intensive care, who were treated for the symptoms until the disease ran its course.

Don’t go to a community pharmacy because there is the risk that you will be given drugs for malaria, typhoid and body pains, the symptoms are fairly similar. If it has crossed your mind, make sure you mention it to the pharmacist there, he/she can then direct you to the nearest hospital which is the best thing we can do for you really.

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In conclusion, have you bought your hand sanitizer? Don’t beef the manufacturers and importers of the product for increasing the price, its simple economics. Demand goes up, price goes up to. Everyone wants to date models, it’s freaking expensive to. That my people is simple economics, don’t beef them. Buy and use regularly, it is still the safest way of protecting the most exposed part of your body – your hands which you eat and touch every other part of your body with.

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Wash and bathe with antiseptic soaps and detergents. Keep a clean environment.  Stay away from monkey meat! If your house is a bat cave, make sure you don’t get bitten! Also try not to feed on the bats.

This is the end of the Public Service Announcement. Thank you for reading. God bless you, God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria. Take care now!

PS. I did not forget about the salt o. There’s just no need to further abuse our intelligence.

I am @OverlordNoni on twitter

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4 Comments

Posted by on August 25, 2014 in Discussion, Social commentary

 

Tags: , , , , ,

4 responses to “Ebola: Public Service Announcement

  1. Walt Shakes

    August 25, 2014 at 8:31 am

    I get scared shitless each time my body temperature spikes even mildly. And the diarrheoa, ay! Once I poo-poo anyhow, na instant psychological torture. This ebola is really dealing us a heavy blow.

     
    • Vunderkind

      August 29, 2014 at 1:44 pm

      LOL, Walter. Somehow I suspect you’d make it just fine.

       
      • Walt Shakes

        August 31, 2014 at 7:23 am

        LOL. I know, right?

         
    • hasarla

      August 29, 2014 at 10:00 pm

      Brother. I sit at my desk at work and people come with various complaints. The symptoms I would have treated as malaria n typhoid weeks ago now give me a pause. What if???

      I sha have hand Sanitizer under my table. As soon as they go, I sharpaly sanitize my hand o. To avoid stories that touch the heart.

      A really heavy blow it’s dealing us.

       

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