Before you start reading, you should note that this piece may be divisive and certainly not all encompassing. I was taught to not judge until I have all the evidence or at least enough to be fair. So this piece is aimed at understanding the origins. This is not a 1 in 10,000 occurrence, as it stands, It’s almost a ‘more than 1 in 20(certainly not equally distributed across cultural climes) and that’s quite a number when you put in perspective. Read with that in mind.
Sometime last year, I came across a DVD of the 2012 MTV Awards ceremony on a friend’s laptop, I remembered the ruckus and hullabaloo that trailed Miley Cyrus’ performance at the event and wanted to see for myself so I copied it. I saw the performance with Robin Thicke and I had to admit, that performance was as raunchy as I read online and very well worth the ruckus. I came across something else though, Macklemore won the award for the best song with a social message, he performed it with Mary Lambert and Jennifer Hudson and the performance blew me away but like every rap song, you can only fully appreciate it when you hear it through clean speakers or good headsets where you can hear the lyrics. So I downloaded the song ‘Same Love’ and it immediately went to the top of my playlist for that week; it was on constant repeat. And it got me thinking as well, I needed to get to the bottom of this gay ‘thingy’ so I reached out on twitter to talk to any gay person so as to get perspective on the topic. I wanted to write on it but also not mal-align anyone. I wanted to get into their head and have a feel of how they think and it was whew!
I need to first say that I’m not gay, and should anyone make a move on me, he would get the beating of his life followed by the counselling of his life as well because as my father would say “Aya omode ni were di si, egba ni a ma fi gbon danu” loosely translated as “Madness is inherent in the mind of a child and it’s only the cane in copious amounts that can remove it”. I had my opinion on the phenomenon but I couldn’t write on it without getting some perspective. I needed to know and, more importantly, feel how they processed that information. Looking at a guy and getting sexually aroused?! I mean, does that even make any sense? I look at a girl and I see the works of God, I see how beautiful she is and appreciate her feminineness, her sexiness if you will. I look at a guy and I see a guy, either good looking or not and that is it! So I was wondering how you make that leap from ‘here’ all the way to ‘there’.
My Initial Theory
Before now, I had only given the topic a cursory thought and my theories bordered on the hilarious. For a female to be a lesbian, it had to be that she had dated men for a large part of her life only to realise that it has only caused her repeated heartbreaks and crisis of identity. Therefore it seemed logical that since men are the problem, women must be the solution, they can both still give each other sexual pleasure without having to deal with the monster that is man. For a guy to be gay on the other hand, he was simply sick in the head, I don’t see how you could have kissed a girl, or felt a soft warm body with your bare hands or to have had sex with a girl and open your mouth to say you like guys without having lost some nuts upstairs. There is a large gap in logic there. The male act is more reprehensible than the female by far. I know how it feels when I have not visited the toilet in days and my faeces had compacted and I have to groan in pain as I force it out. That shit is painful I tell you. Now to now imagine someone deliberately inserting his phallus into another man’s anal orifice is just urgh.
On a serious note, for a guy to like guys and for a girl to like girls is a perversion, no matter how you put it or look at it. If you do not see it as a perversion, then you need to re-evaluate your stand. God in his mastery created us male and female with different anatomical features to distinguish between us. But those tools are not just anatomical; they are also physiological and complimentary to one another. That the penis in males is located at a location that on the females correspond to the vagina is no mistake. As a side note, I always did wonder how Adam knew where to put ‘it’. The female organ however is unlike the male not just physiologically suited for sexual actions, it is however most suited for its maternal roles, the breasts may entice you as a guy, but you would admit that it makes more sense to the babies whose survival largely depends on them. Therefore, lesbianism and/or gayness are a perversion of God’s intent for our bodies. So again I ask, how do we go from here to there or rather more importantly, why?
Like I said earlier, I reached out on Twitter for any gay person to contact me so we could have a confidential conversation on the matter. I was glad I got a response and it was enlightening. The first question I asked was “How long, have you been gay?” his response was that “I had my first gay sex when i was 14”. I had to stop to consider that, how many young children are victims of this act, how many people have their lives changed forever because of one uncle who felt the need to use them to satisfy their sexual perversion? My next question was “Was it a choice or did it just happen”? He said “It wasn’t a choice and it didn’t just happen either” I needed further clarification and I asked for it, he then narrated a story for me “I used to like this uncle in my area, not sexually though because I didn’t know about sex at the time. So one day, the ‘uncle’ wanted my friend to help him do something and he refused, so out of pity I decided to do it. When I was done with his little errand, he invited me to his room; it was a little nice dark room. At first he was lying on the bed and I was sitting, nothing was going on between us but I felt a strong urge to touch him. He himself later invited me to touch him; I felt so much relief so I started touching him. He invited me to hold his private part and I did, after he got hard, he touched me and got me hard, he later started sucking my private part, after a while, I told him I wanted to pee, he invited me to pee in his mouth. That was my first ever cum and it felt so good”. Before you call him ‘omokomo’ or a nonsense child, I’ll want you to know that it was a very young age and kids are really impressionable at that stage and considering the hormonal changes puberty brings, the whole thing can go awry if a child doesn’t have direction.
My next question was “Prior to that incident, were you attracted to females? And after, did you ever feel you wanted girls”? His response was enlightening “I know I’m not strictly homosexual, I’m Bi, so I still feel attracted to girls. As a matter of fact, I have a girlfriend but I have never had sex with a female and my bisexuality tends towards men over 40 years old” I only have passable knowledge on the works of Sigmund Freud on Psychoanalysis but I know I can diagnose the last part. Since his first was considerably older, it makes sense that only older men appear attractive to him. A certain thought was brewing in my mind as you would see in my next question “Can someone be born gay? As in, attracted to guys from day one without having a decisive moment like yours that tilts the scale? ”he responded “Bro I have to be sincere with you, if you’re not born gay, you can never be gay” That threw me off balance I must admit. I was taught children are born with ‘tabula rasa’ a blank mind that is and what society impinges on it is what it becomes. I also know that the argument of Nature versus Nurture is one that can never be concluded, you just pick a side. Let’s complete the interview before I discuss the ramifications. He said “I will let you in on a little secret, gays have a distinct character, and many of them have the ability to conceal that character while others can’t. Gays have this girly character! No matter how much they try to conceal it, if you observe them closely, you will get to see it. Most other ones want to show their masculinity by becoming machos. Most of the six packed and overly muscularly built guys are gay. I wasn’t surprised when Iyanya was accused of being gay though it may not be true. Watch characters like Charly Boy and Denrele, I wouldn’t say they are gay because I can’t say for sure but something tells me otherwise”. The macho thing brings a new twist to it doesn’t it? Is he right, I would not know, but the logic adds up! Overcompensating is something we all do one way or the other so it makes sense to fight the girl in you by becoming the perfect definition of manliness.
He wasn’t done though, he made another profound statement, “You can be forced to have gay sex but that wouldn’t change your sexual orientation, you are either born gay or you are not”. There was something nagging me about that sentence. He went on to further say “Most gays are happily married; I have been with all sorts of men, even though I don’t abuse my gayness. I have been with a priest, pastor, doctor, top politician, lecturers etc, they are everywhere! Most people that came out of the closet, have you asked yourself why? Why did they just choose to, knowing the implications to their careers”? He felt the need to reiterate an earlier point “Make no mistake about me, mine wasn’t a decisive moment. I had always admired that ‘uncle’ before our escapades” what’s coming next will blow your mind. “One thing you must know, growing up as a gay wasn’t easy, no body to talk to about how you feel. No love to call your own. At a point, I felt suicidal. I wanted to take my life! I questioned God. I asked Him why he chose to make me gay in a homophobic continent like ours, I became rebellious to God and to myself but after speaking with one gay pastor in the UK, I accepted myself for who I am. I am now working towards ‘fitting’ into my homophobic environment”
About what was nagging me, the mindset that they are born this way is one that is hard to stomach. And the gay pastor bit had me stumped. Gay pastor? Come on! I consulted other intellectuals and got their opinion on the matter. If you think you’re born that way, then we must be able to explain it genetically, physiologically, psychologically or spiritually. If it passes all the checkpoints, then we would have to agree that people can be born gay so it is therefore not their fault they are the way they are and accept them.
Genetically speaking, no genetic markers have been identified to lend credence to the genetic claim. When you look at children born with genetic disorders such as Down’s syndrome etc, you can tie it down to the biochemical reason they are the way they are. Multiple chromosomes or extra chromosomes, or other such phenomena have been implicated in genetic disorders. There are also congenital disorders and I am sure this is not one of them. For instance, according to some psychology researchers from the University of Toronto and Harvard University, some children are predisposed to schizophrenia if they are born with Low Latent Inhibition and a considerably low Intelligence Quotient (IQ); the brain wouldn’t be able to handle the influx of information due to the low inhibition and would result in psychosis. In that case, we can identify the source. But in gays, genetics won’t sufficiently explain it, so strike one!
Physiologically, until a gay hormone can be identified, I’d say strike two. The sex organs are a part of the reproductive system hence their purpose is for reproduction. Homosexuality doesn’t perpetuate that, it rather mitigates it. The simple question has been if your parents were gay, would you be born? Remember my earlier question about how Adam knew where to put ‘it’. I’m going to with instinct because I’m pretty sure Eve didn’t come with a manual. God is the originator and master of double entendres in that while reproduction is the goal, it’s not a mechanical act, but rather a pleasurable one. The vaginal canal is present for the delivery of sperm cells to the ovaries but it’s also provides pleasure. So, the function is not pleasure, it’s for reproductive purposes (the pleasure is a required side benefit) so strike two!
The psychology is a fascinating one though, having talked about Tabula Rasa earlier, I’d like to bring Schrödinger’s cat into the discussion. You have a cat in a box with a device that can kill it. You don’t however know for sure if the cat is dead or alive unless you open the box. It is therefore said that the cat is both dead and alive. This is called quantum indeterminacy or observers paradox whereby the observation or measurement influences the outcome. In lay terms, it can be posited that a child can be born with both and which he/she grows up to be will depend on the measuring tool, which is society in this case. A child can become gay if exposed to homosexual acts early in life and can be heterosexual if adequately exposed. You can invoke Nature vs. Nurture here and you won’t be wrong. In the case of the interview above, it can be argued that the encounter with the ‘uncle’ tilted the scales in that direction. If it had being an ‘aunty’ for instance, it would have been something else. I posit that the number of gay people is on the rise because the act is been encouraged. It is no longer seen as an abnormality so more people are into it now. There is also the fact that some people are born with an adventurous spirit and that would push them to try things no one else has ever done or defy the odds to do that which should not be done. Many of gay people got into it because they wanted to experiment and it felt good enough that they continued. You know how they say something is so wrong but it feels so good? This is a typical example.
I think the spiritual angle offers most insight. We would have to start at the beginning though, as in, the very Genesis. Where it is written that “God made man in his own image and after his own likeness”, where it is written that “be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth” Genesis 1:28. From that point of view, it is wrong, wrong and very wrong! Since that’s the only point of view that potentially has a solution, It’s the only one that should matter!
Also in the book of Leviticus 20:13, the bible speaks against homosexuality. If you think that God should relax his laws because we are in the new age, you should note that he spoke against it in the New Testament as well in the book of Romans Chapter 1. God’s stand on the matter is clear; the passage of time does not change the word of God. It is sure, immutable and irrefutable. So, no matter what you may have been told, you should know that God did NOT create you to be gay and do things he has said should not be done.
Having gone through all that, we have to come to a resolution of sorts, expecting the whole world to ditch our ingrained sense of normalcy and accept you all without blinking, is a lot to ask for. It’s like telling a man at 80 that his wife of over 50 years is not the mother of his children. That’s a blow to the gut, a shift of magnanimous proportions, and you expect him to smile and say “It’s nothing”. Before he finishes processing the information and the emotions that come with it, I won’t be surprised if he says he doesn’t want to ever see her again or worse(perhaps bring out a gun if he has one). He may of course later come to a resolution and accept her, but it won’t be easy and it would be a testament to his strength than anything else. It’s a lot to take in when you factor in the fact that we are Africans, ingrained in and defined by our cultures and traditions. When you add religion to that mix, homosexuality as a way of life stands no chance. I personally do not subscribe to violence as it often causes more harm than good even if it’s done with good intentions, so killing gays is not the way to go. Letting the ideology thrive on the other hand is not African.
A fourteen-year jail term for homosexuals is an interestingly hilarious idea, in that it doesn’t help the homosexual man/woman whilst making scape goats out of them, but still not a solution. For a nation, it may be okay for some to die to save the rest but that’s not what the church of God stands for. There is no genetic and physiological basis so there can be no genetic or physiological solution. It can be said to be a psychological (i.e. a state of mind, an addiction, an act of defiance, a coping mechanism, an experiment/adventure etc.) condition or a spiritual one (in which case you implicate the devil). Many have tried to pray it away with little returns: psychologists too have had a go at the problem with little or no success. What then do we do? Something has to give, either gays change and become straight or the whole world changes our ideology and mindsets. In fairness, both sound like pipedreams but with intervention one can be pulled off. The thing about change is you have to want it badly, be properly informed and adequately motivated to pursue it. A prophet can’t just lay hands on you and poof you’re no longer gay but if you want to change, you would do what it takes. It won’t be easy but I believe it would be worth it.
In conclusion, Africa and Nigeria especially will never accept ‘gayism’ as a way of life in the foreseeable future , if you want to do your thing, do it somewhere else, but if you want to remain on our shores, you would have to get help or just keep quiet. I strongly recommend the former though, God is the creator of mankind, and if anything is broken, He is the one who can fix it. Not a pastor, not a prophet, not even you yourself can fix yourself. Go to God, tell Him what you want and tell Him you’re going nowhere until he does something about it. I’m sure he will turn up. That is my 2 cents.
I am @OverlordNoni