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Category Archives: Maiden

Not in a day

rome

Close your eyes and roam the city of Rome.

Picture its spires and be inspired.

Take a walk on its cobbled streets and feel the heat as it emanates.

Look to the skies and with your eyes behold the mix of young and old.

Striving for relevance as they stomp around like irate elephants

If you can, gaze at the coliseums as it was in those days.

Appreciate its engineering genius as you go near the enlarged ring.

Walk its corridors of power and feel the humidor and aura.

Stand at its many cliffs that overlook the sea and ask yourself many what ifs

What if it never fell, what if the ringing of its bells never stopped

What if this and what if that.

And while you are trapped in the awe of the city and the grandeur of its prime

One thing won’t be able to escape you

It is naught but the irrefutable fact

That Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Even if the genie of the lamp were consigned to build it all,

I’m fairly certain he won’t be able to pull it off in one day.

Because layer by layers was it built

Step by step it was structured

One by one they all joined hands

Until it became one of the greatest civilizations in the known history of man

So I say to you, have some appreciation for the long term.

New-York-Skyline

            Have you ever looked at the skyline of New York for instance and wonder if Nigeria can ever have that? Or look at a 70 storey building and ponder on how long and hard it must have taken to achieve the structural feat? I have and I do it all the time, I was driving round the city of Abuja recently and I couldn’t but notice the number of uncompleted buildings and construction cranes that dot the sky almost everywhere you look. It became obvious to me that Abuja is only hailed as much because it is the capital and not because it’s that fine. Granted, there are some very exquisite locations but it’s not that fine. And this is simply because it is far from being complete. Whether or not it’s behind or ahead of schedule I cannot say, but what I do know is that it’s certainly not complete.

                The Origin

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Take a quick look at Dangote industries today, try to get your hands on his biography and you’ll be amazed to find out how small he started. Now he is the Richest black man the world over! That is no small feat I tell you, from where he started, it’s almost impossible to picture where he is now but he is here now and we all can see. Where you start has very little bearing on how you end, all that matters is how you progress. Never despise little beginnings.

                The Vision

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When asked, Bill Gates said that all he wanted was to put a computer system in every home in every country in the world. I wouldn’t say he has done all he set out to do but he surely has made a dent, some might even say he has made more than that and I’ll agree without argument. He had a vision; he wanted to see a computerised world. That’s one hell of a task for one man to undertake but as we found out, he didn’t have to do it alone. All he had to do was enact his vision and people took it up from there, tech companies arose and before we could say Jack Robinson, the revolution had started. He had the vision, he saw the potential, he acted on it pronto and he got massively rewarded for it. Having a vision and the power to dream up alternate and better realities is a big plus. Don’t throw it away because it’s too big. You just have to find a way.

              The Skill set

Bill Gates is a nerd! Despite his genius level IQ, one thing is obvious; dude is a nerd, albeit a multi-billionaire one. One thing he knows pretty well is programming. Computer programming, market programming, consumer programming, business programming and any other programming you can mention. And my-oh-my, did he program it all well or not? I think we all can say without doubt that he has done well for himself, heck he has done well for the whole Tech industry. Everybody has a certain skill set, it may be raw and undeveloped but it is there. Your skill set, either natural or acquired if used properly will provide you with your meal ticket and much more as long as you do it right.

                The Mindset

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They say nothing determines a man’s fate like his attitude, how he responds to situations, changes and unforeseen circumstances. When life throws you a curve or things refuse to go according to your meticulously laid down plans, what do you do? Do you react or take time to think and respond accordingly. Many have jumped off the boat carrying them to their destiny because they had sea sickness. Sea sickness can be treated with a little pill. When you face a problem, don’t think “this is it, I’m done for”; instead start thinking “damage control, what is the way out”. Every problem has a solution. Get that stuck in your head and psyche. Every Problem Has a Solution!

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                The Timeline

There is a time for every purpose under the heaven. A time to sow and a time to reap, time to be born and a time to die etc, you need a very astute concept of time for you to succeed in any endeavour. Time is and will always be a continuum; this is not the end, even if it seems like it. It only ends when you say it ends, when you stop fighting or stop breathing. That being said, you need to have serious appreciation for the long term, get rich schemes don’t always last. You have to learn to build from scratch, sometimes slowly because you learn as you go along the way.

Knowing that, you have to not mind how little you start, as long as you have a vision that propels you, make sure you have the skill set to execute your vision, have the proper attitude in responding to challenges and setbacks and unforeseen circumstances, with all these in place, learn to plan for the long term.

If you want the magnificence that is Rome to be your life, then one day wouldn’t be enough.

PS. I wrote this October 31st 2013

Hot Damn!

So many times i have discovered that some of my past writings are for the present and future me. I come across them and it just inspires me all over again.

Instead of writing to my younger self, it’s him that is writing to me. This life is just a big pot of beans.

Thank you for reading

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Posted by on August 26, 2016 in Inspiration, Leadership Talks, Maiden

 

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Socialiga & My Birthday

Socialiga & My Birthday

Birthdays are always somehow for me. I look at people posting pictures with cakes and surrounded by friends a couple of thoughts run through my mind

“Why are you opening teeth for God’s sake? You’re getting older! Can’t you see that???”
“You’ll spend all that money? Just because it’s your birthday? Is that smart? Really?”

It took me a while to actually figure out why and now that I have, *inserts facepalm smiley. See ehn, my birthday is on the 26th of June and for as long as I can remember, that period is always when my account is in the red. Yeah, I was captured by, engaged to and suffering from a broke mentality. Ever since that epiphany, I’ve been better equipped to fight those thoughts when they come.

Firstly, there is so much to be thankful to God for, and like the song says “Ti a ba ni ki a ka ore oluwa, ile a su, ile a mo” meaning “if we are to count the goodness of God, the sun will set and will rise and we would still no have counted them all”
Oh the things we take for granted in this life, if only we were more aware and see the things God is doing for us that we don’t know of, we’d spend every waking day in gratitude to God. I have learnt that and I’m grateful for all He’s done. And can rejoice fully in His promises and assurances for the future.

Do. Not. Let. Your. Current. Circumstances. Prevent. You. From. Praising. God.

And as for the second one, I had an epiphany for that one too. If you die today, you’ll see how useless and almost senseless it is to work so hard, make money (no matter how little or much) and not enjoy the fruits of your work. Even if it is for just one day in the whole year, do something worthwhile and memorable, have fun!

And I did, at least I tried to. The last Socialiga event was on the 25th of June so I said to myself,

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“Doesn’t that sound like fun to you?” then myself responded
“For real mehn, you should go”
So I took my own advice and went and it was beautiful. A little chaotic but chaos can be beautiful too.
For my own protection as a celebrity with important standing in the community, a man of my timber and calibre and VIP status, I went with an FBI Agent, my homie Wale

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We decided to go in low key, so the MC didn’t have to announce my arrival. We went in and took our seats. Took some selfies to show Twitter that I indeed had arrived

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It didn’t take long for us to realize we were sitting in the wrong place, it became apparent after watching the flow of traffic that the fine girls were all seated on the other side. I realized it when I noticed the camera mehn were not even coming to the left side, they were all on the right. I don’t blame them anyway. Give me a camera too and see if there would be one guy in my photos. Well, there’ll be one – Me. I’ll take selfies.

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Anyways, he supported The Saints, and I was on the Reds’ side which is a terrible thing as a Chelsea fan but you see ehn, there are many fine girls there so you’ll forgive me. Plus I chose the right side anyway. They won the penalty shootout so I jumped up and shouted yes. After the second match, we decided to take a walk around and collect that Free Star Radler that they said we were entitled to

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The Taste wasn’t bad and we gave good reviews, even took a selfies with the Star Lady

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Drink in hand, we continued our sightseeing and I saw this beautiful amazing and absolutely breath-taking piece of artwork. It was so stunning it stopped me in my tracks and slowly drew me in to drink from its beauty. If I was an art collector with the bucks, I would have it hanging in my office now. See for yourself

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There were a lot of food vendors but it never crossed my mind to check them out (Reason why is already above), we moved around until I saw this

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Which to me was impressive. The Socialiga impresses me deeply. That so much can happen off the back of an idea, that an idea so powerful it galvanizes people. I mean, I came all the way from Ayobo which is on the other side of Lagos just because I was fascinated. The number of sponsors they have gotten in the period that they have started is just impressive
I was impressed by what I saw and I give the organizers and everyone on that team kudos. Tiri Gbosas for you all. May it continue to grow bigger and get better and go international, Amen.
Shout out to all the photographers that were there, though it was only one that got me on camera, you guys were amazing. I forgive all of you.
Ladisays
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There were games to play but I decided to play spectator not disgrace my grandchildren show off my skills. The Bouncing castle was big and inviting but sometimes you have to respect yourself. Not every time.

When we heard on the PAS that the female teams were about to play, we remembered how important it was to face why we had come so we rushed to our seats and waited not wanting to miss the fun and excitement we expected to happen soon. We waited, and waited and when we saw the male team take to the field. Such a disappoint! We suddenly realized time was going and our house was far so we decided to take in the sights once again before making our departure.
That was when @Ladisays captured me talking to Jade who I was meeting for the first time. She’s really cool and very peng as you can see.

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After that we were on our way home. And even though it was not yet my birthday, I had fun and for the first time in a long time I actually have pictures to share that are about my birthday.

I look to the future with hope as my team and I work on The Invictus Project. Great may it be and the beginning of something truly special.
I thank everyone that sent me wishes on BBM, Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. I appreciate the gestures and I pray that you will all always have a reason to celebrate in your life and family. God bless you all.

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2016 in Actual Fun, Maiden, Social commentary

 

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2015 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for my blog. Turns out I only had 3 blog posts throughout the year. Who would have thought? #sigh

I refuse to retire, I’ll rewire to refire in the new year till I see my desires fulfilled.

 

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 400 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 7 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

 
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Posted by on December 30, 2015 in Maiden

 

What a Feeling – My Project Fame experience

Hey guys, it’s been an age. Forgive my absence. This thing called life ehn, e get as e be. God will keep helping us. Anyways, back to the matter. For those of you that don’t know, I have a brother who is as awesome as  – if not more awesomer than – me.
Meet Teesala!
He submitted this and I couldn’t but put it up. Amazing somtin if you ask me. Please read & enjoy. Please drop a comment too.

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It was one of those days, when the stormy clouds poured upon the earth rain in torrents, completely preventing the sun from sharing its warmth. Men, barely pubescent boys, and everything in between as well as females of every color, age, shape, size and beliefs were out in their droves, defying the weather, standing in a place so packed, how it contained them all is a huge surprise. They all left their homes at the break of day with one thing in mind; it could just be me. Their faces contained expressions of the audacity of hope, of absolute belief in ones abilities and the quest for fame!

It was the auditions for the 8th season of Project Fame West Africa in the city of Port Harcourt. Although slated for 8am, people had got to the venue ahead of time and could be seen quietly practicing their songs, getting ready to take their chances. “If Praiz, Iyanya & Chidinma did it, so can I”. Registration started and went without a hitch and then it was time. Weeks, months or even years of preparation coming down to a moment not more than 5 minutes and just two words; Yes or No.

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The contestants started going in one by one, hope written across their features, while for some it was fear and as they returned, all I could see was disappointment, some were even angry. Whether at themselves or at the judges I couldn’t say. I was positioned at the exit and had a good view of the crowd, I could feel their energy, with every exit from the hallowed room, I felt the energy eddying, the tension building, everyone wanted someone to come out with a yes. Expectations kept ramping up until it finally happened; someone came out of the room beaming. The gloom lifted and the rays of hope once again pierced the countenance of those yet to go in.

I had prepared a series of questions in my mind that I would ask those who got a yes but as I saw this guy’s appearance, my format flew out of the window. “Where are you coming from? I blurted, seeing as he had on a shirt and tie and was carrying a travelling bag. He travelled all the way from Bayelsa and came straight to the venue and now he had gotten what he came for; Yes! Before I could ask him any other question, he was on his way. I mouthed congrats in his direction as he galloped away. Who can blame him? The dream is no longer an illusion for him; it is now within his reach, he can touch it if he reaches with his hand, he has probably imagined the shining lights on his face with a microphone in his hands as he sings his heart out on the biggest stage. Such is the lore and the allure of Project Fame.

Next up was a man who sang Celine Dion’s “Because you loved me” and got a yes. Why he would choose that I have no idea but it obviously worked so… He was so giddy that he walked up to me to ask when the next stage of the competition would be. I asked him for give a little rendition and he did. It was Okay, do I think he’ll go all the way in the competition? No. Did I tell him that? I’m sure you know the answer to that.

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I met a friend of mine on the grounds and I was rooting for him fully. When he came out of the room, his demeanor told me he got a no. I consoled him and asked what song he did. He said he sang Neyo’s ‘So Sick’ and Tuface’s “Be There’. As amazing as he thought he was, it wasn’t enough to sway the judges. I encouraged him not to give up on the dream and returned to my post.

At one point, this woman came up to me to ask for help, I was eager to but when she presented her case, I had to beckon on the organizers to hear her out. Her request wasn’t highfalutin actually, she had a baby at home, wanted to do her auditions and get back home to her baby. That appeal hardly ever fails and it won again. Who knows if there actually is a baby or not? She went in, and when she returned, her baby got her mother back. It was the end of the road in the competition for her.

Of all the contestants who got a yes, 23 year old Tricia was the most dramatic of the lot. Beyonce’s “All I could do was cry” got her in. and I had to ask her, “Did you cry?” She didn’t but the judges gave a yes anyway. Her joy knew no bounds.

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By this time, the banter boys union had found their voices, they had gone in, gotten a negative response, shrugged it off and chose to have good time instead of sulking in one corner. Nigerians just always find the wherewithal to make the best of every situation either good or otherwise. They had developed a chant to console the broken hearted as they came out “come over here, we got NO too, life no go end, person wey go blow go blow jare.” Their numbers swelled and their influence grew. Thanks to them, disappointment was quickly turned into joy. They added color to the event and were very helpful in helping contestants see that the cup was half full and not empty.

It wasn’t all roses though; I had issues with some of their logistics and how the contestants were treated. There was no opportunity to hear the contestants sing live and they couldn’t come with their family & well wishers as we see in other such competitions in other developed countries. This is the 8th season of project fame; it shouldn’t be difficult to get products of the Project Fame Academy to grace every audition venue across the nation. It is not too much to ask and not too much to do.

It was an awesome experience for me at this audition, as the train rolls on, if it stops in your town or a town near you, do try and join them, enjoy the atmosphere. Up next are Ibadan, Lagos and Ghana. Be part of this.

Project Fame – What a feeling!

 
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Posted by on June 30, 2015 in Maiden

 

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Diary of a Corper |Page 1

First things first, you’re welcome to My diary. I have never kept one before, so if I break any rules, please point out My errors to me. This is a very late post. It was written in August but got stuck in the pipeline. I think it’s a good way to begin and that is why I didn’t write a new one. May this adventure last. Thank you Ifeoluwa NihinOla for your  ramblings and Walter for your #DearDiary posts.

Here we go!

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Diary of a Corper: End of an Era
I resumed at my current place of employment on the 1st of May having returned to Lagos during the Easter Celebrations. The last year was spent in the beautiful city of Keffi in Nassarawa and I didn’t keep a diary; I just wanted to breeze in and out – which I did, but now wish I didn’t but what’s done is done.

I missed out on the Batch A set of the NYSC program because I had not yet completed my internship which meant I had 3 months to wait for the Batch B. three months of doing nothing would be very bad for me so I located my CV and ‘hit the streets’ and look for a locum position to pass the time. I went out with just two copies as I had earmarked two pharmacies to be blessed with my presence.

When I got to the first one, they rolled out the red carpet and welcomed a don as paparazzi hovered around trying to get a shot of Donsally I spoke to the Head of the Human Resources Department who also served as the Principal Pharmacist, Head of Clinical Services, Managing Director and CEO and as I later found out, head of Finance too. The conversation wasn’t long, in five minutes I had a job and all we had to do was negotiate an agreeable pay. We did and I started the next week.

When I left the place, I couldn’t help but think “Just like that?” I thanked God for his favor and grace which I have been enjoying for a very long time. My life it seems has been coated and adorned with the grace of God for as long as I can remember; it’s like I walk in a cloud of grace and pillars of grace.

Now, unemployment is a very big deal in Nigeria, we don’t have accurate statistics to portray how bad it really is, I surmise it would be between 70-90% which is quite dire. I should have you note however that there are no unemployed doctors, pharmacists, nurses, etc. The healthcare professionals are always employed. We may not be rich, but we will always be employed. I don’t know if the same applies for dentists, physiotherapists and others in Nigeria but their odds are still better than most. The point I’m trying to make is this; the primary reason we get educated is not really to make the world a better place – that’s a resultant effect. The reason we study and hustle hard is to get paid!

Whatever you study in school that can’t guarantee a roof over your head, food on your table and an end-of-the-month-bank-alert-induced smile isn’t enough. Money is not everything, but it’s a sizeable percentage. And in fairness, what do you want to do with everything?

If you have a sibling or friend that you reckon has the aptitude, intelligence and disposition to study any of the courses in the Health sciences, advise them to. That way, their future would be as secure as it can be.

One of my editors back in the day – Akindele Opeyemi, would often say something when people read his brilliant poems or get wowed by his formidable literary skills and say “You’re in the wrong field, how can you be this good and be studying pharmacy?” He would respond by saying “I can be a pharmacist and still be a writer, speaker, actor, an artist, a fashion designer, a business man etc. but you cannot be all that and be a pharmacist.” This is what I meant by securing your future. Studying any of the health sciences (especially pharmacy) places you on a pedestal and gives you options without denying you pay. You have the option of pursuing your dreams without going broke. You can even use it to bankroll the pursuit of happiness.

For instance, I know a pharmacist who is a world class graphic designer (Tolu Lawson of Keys Media), I know some who bake beautiful cakes, one who designs very creative fashion apparels (Muyo of Xtrime wears), another who is a great poet and public speaker (Bunmi Oke), a couple that write wonderfully well, nationally popular models (Kene Diobi), a world class Events organizer (Agbomeji Olamide), Millinery experts (Tosin Akinniranye of Excidix), Journalists (Tolu Ogunlesi of the BBC) and this is just the University of Ibadan alone. All these guys are world beaters! Real hustlers! Who have long nuked their comfort zones, they are on the high seas, making a difference! Making history! Pharmacy hasn’t stopped them, it has helped them! *drops the mic*

I resigned at my current place of employment on August 30, 2014. Grateful for the opportunity to learn and to serve, to put to practice the words of the oath I swore as I was inducted into the profession. It was a great experience and I believe I am a better man for it. With this in mind, join me as I pop champagne to the end of an era.

 
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Posted by on November 3, 2014 in Maiden

 

On the GAY topic -The Origins

Before you start reading, you should note that this piece may be divisive and certainly not all encompassing. I was taught to not judge until I have all the evidence or at least enough to be fair. So this piece is aimed at understanding the origins. This is not a 1 in 10,000 occurrence, as it stands, It’s almost a ‘more than 1 in 20(certainly not equally distributed across cultural climes) and that’s quite a number when you put in perspective. Read with that in mind.

Sometime last year, I came across a DVD of the 2012 MTV Awards ceremony on a friend’s laptop, I remembered the ruckus and hullabaloo that trailed Miley Cyrus’ performance at the event and wanted to see for myself so I copied it. I saw the performance with Robin Thicke and I had to admit, that performance was as raunchy as I read online and very well worth the ruckus. I came across something else though, Macklemore won the award for the best song with a social message, he performed it with Mary Lambert and Jennifer Hudson and the performance blew me away but like every rap song, you can only fully appreciate it when you hear it through clean speakers or good headsets where you can hear the lyrics. So I downloaded the song ‘Same Love’ and it immediately went to the top of my playlist for that week; it was on constant repeat. And it got me thinking as well, I needed to get to the bottom of this gay ‘thingy’ so I reached out on twitter to talk to any gay person so as to get perspective on the topic. I wanted to write on it but also not mal-align anyone. I wanted to get into their head and have a feel of how they think and it was whew!

I need to first say that I’m not gay, and should anyone make a move on me, he would get the beating of his life followed by the counselling of his life as well because as my father would say “Aya omode ni were di si, egba ni a ma fi gbon danu” loosely translated as “Madness is inherent in the mind of a child and it’s only the cane in copious amounts that can remove it”. I had my opinion on the phenomenon but I couldn’t write on it without getting some perspective. I needed to know and, more importantly, feel how they processed that information. Looking at a guy and getting sexually aroused?! I mean, does that even make any sense? I look at a girl and I see the works of God, I see how beautiful she is and appreciate her feminineness, her sexiness if you will. I look at a guy and I see a guy, either good looking or not and that is it! So I was wondering how you make that leap from ‘here’ all the way to ‘there’.

My Initial Theory
Before now, I had only given the topic a cursory thought and my theories bordered on the hilarious. For a female to be a lesbian, it had to be that she had dated men for a large part of her life only to realise that it has only caused her repeated heartbreaks and crisis of identity. Therefore it seemed logical that since men are the problem, women must be the solution, they can both still give each other sexual pleasure without having to deal with the monster that is man. For a guy to be gay on the other hand, he was simply sick in the head, I don’t see how you could have kissed a girl, or felt a soft warm body with your bare hands or to have had sex with a girl and open your mouth to say you like guys without having lost some nuts upstairs. There is a large gap in logic there. The male act is more reprehensible than the female by far. I know how it feels when I have not visited the toilet in days and my faeces had compacted and I have to groan in pain as I force it out. That shit is painful I tell you. Now to now imagine someone deliberately inserting his phallus into another man’s anal orifice is just urgh.

The Truth
On a serious note, for a guy to like guys and for a girl to like girls is a perversion, no matter how you put it or look at it. If you do not see it as a perversion, then you need to re-evaluate your stand. God in his mastery created us male and female with different anatomical features to distinguish between us. But those tools are not just anatomical; they are also physiological and complimentary to one another. That the penis in males is located at a location that on the females correspond to the vagina is no mistake. As a side note, I always did wonder how Adam knew where to put ‘it’. The female organ however is unlike the male not just physiologically suited for sexual actions, it is however most suited for its maternal roles, the breasts may entice you as a guy, but you would admit that it makes more sense to the babies whose survival largely depends on them. Therefore, lesbianism and/or gayness are a perversion of God’s intent for our bodies. So again I ask, how do we go from here to there or rather more importantly, why?

The Interview
Like I said earlier, I reached out on Twitter for any gay person to contact me so we could have a confidential conversation on the matter. I was glad I got a response and it was enlightening. The first question I asked was “How long, have you been gay?” his response was that “I had my first gay sex when i was 14”. I had to stop to consider that, how many young children are victims of this act, how many people have their lives changed forever because of one uncle who felt the need to use them to satisfy their sexual perversion? My next question was “Was it a choice or did it just happen”? He said “It wasn’t a choice and it didn’t just happen either” I needed further clarification and I asked for it, he then narrated a story for me “I used to like this uncle in my area, not sexually though because I didn’t know about sex at the time. So one day, the ‘uncle’ wanted my friend to help him do something and he refused, so out of pity I decided to do it. When I was done with his little errand, he invited me to his room; it was a little nice dark room. At first he was lying on the bed and I was sitting, nothing was going on between us but I felt a strong urge to touch him. He himself later invited me to touch him; I felt so much relief so I started touching him. He invited me to hold his private part and I did, after he got hard, he touched me and got me hard, he later started sucking my private part, after a while, I told him I wanted to pee, he invited me to pee in his mouth. That was my first ever cum and it felt so good”. Before you call him ‘omokomo’ or a nonsense child, I’ll want you to know that it was a very young age and kids are really impressionable at that stage and considering the hormonal changes puberty brings, the whole thing can go awry if a child doesn’t have direction.
My next question was “Prior to that incident, were you attracted to females? And after, did you ever feel you wanted girls”? His response was enlightening “I know I’m not strictly homosexual, I’m Bi, so I still feel attracted to girls. As a matter of fact, I have a girlfriend but I have never had sex with a female and my bisexuality tends towards men over 40 years old” I only have passable knowledge on the works of Sigmund Freud on Psychoanalysis but I know I can diagnose the last part. Since his first was considerably older, it makes sense that only older men appear attractive to him. A certain thought was brewing in my mind as you would see in my next question “Can someone be born gay? As in, attracted to guys from day one without having a decisive moment like yours that tilts the scale? ”he responded “Bro I have to be sincere with you, if you’re not born gay, you can never be gay” That threw me off balance I must admit. I was taught children are born with ‘tabula rasa’ a blank mind that is and what society impinges on it is what it becomes. I also know that the argument of Nature versus Nurture is one that can never be concluded, you just pick a side. Let’s complete the interview before I discuss the ramifications. He said “I will let you in on a little secret, gays have a distinct character, and many of them have the ability to conceal that character while others can’t. Gays have this girly character! No matter how much they try to conceal it, if you observe them closely, you will get to see it. Most other ones want to show their masculinity by becoming machos. Most of the six packed and overly muscularly built guys are gay. I wasn’t surprised when Iyanya was accused of being gay though it may not be true. Watch characters like Charly Boy and Denrele, I wouldn’t say they are gay because I can’t say for sure but something tells me otherwise”. The macho thing brings a new twist to it doesn’t it? Is he right, I would not know, but the logic adds up! Overcompensating is something we all do one way or the other so it makes sense to fight the girl in you by becoming the perfect definition of manliness.
He wasn’t done though, he made another profound statement, “You can be forced to have gay sex but that wouldn’t change your sexual orientation, you are either born gay or you are not”. There was something nagging me about that sentence. He went on to further say “Most gays are happily married; I have been with all sorts of men, even though I don’t abuse my gayness. I have been with a priest, pastor, doctor, top politician, lecturers etc, they are everywhere! Most people that came out of the closet, have you asked yourself why? Why did they just choose to, knowing the implications to their careers”? He felt the need to reiterate an earlier point “Make no mistake about me, mine wasn’t a decisive moment. I had always admired that ‘uncle’ before our escapades” what’s coming next will blow your mind. “One thing you must know, growing up as a gay wasn’t easy, no body to talk to about how you feel. No love to call your own. At a point, I felt suicidal. I wanted to take my life! I questioned God. I asked Him why he chose to make me gay in a homophobic continent like ours, I became rebellious to God and to myself but after speaking with one gay pastor in the UK, I accepted myself for who I am. I am now working towards ‘fitting’ into my homophobic environment

Logical Discourse
About what was nagging me, the mindset that they are born this way is one that is hard to stomach. And the gay pastor bit had me stumped. Gay pastor? Come on! I consulted other intellectuals and got their opinion on the matter. If you think you’re born that way, then we must be able to explain it genetically, physiologically, psychologically or spiritually. If it passes all the checkpoints, then we would have to agree that people can be born gay so it is therefore not their fault they are the way they are and accept them.

Genetically speaking, no genetic markers have been identified to lend credence to the genetic claim. When you look at children born with genetic disorders such as Down’s syndrome etc, you can tie it down to the biochemical reason they are the way they are. Multiple chromosomes or extra chromosomes, or other such phenomena have been implicated in genetic disorders. There are also congenital disorders and I am sure this is not one of them. For instance, according to some psychology researchers from the University of Toronto and Harvard University, some children are predisposed to schizophrenia if they are born with Low Latent Inhibition and a considerably low Intelligence Quotient (IQ); the brain wouldn’t be able to handle the influx of information due to the low inhibition and would result in psychosis. In that case, we can identify the source. But in gays, genetics won’t sufficiently explain it, so strike one!

Physiologically, until a gay hormone can be identified, I’d say strike two. The sex organs are a part of the reproductive system hence their purpose is for reproduction. Homosexuality doesn’t perpetuate that, it rather mitigates it. The simple question has been if your parents were gay, would you be born? Remember my earlier question about how Adam knew where to put ‘it’. I’m going to with instinct because I’m pretty sure Eve didn’t come with a manual. God is the originator and master of double entendres in that while reproduction is the goal, it’s not a mechanical act, but rather a pleasurable one. The vaginal canal is present for the delivery of sperm cells to the ovaries but it’s also provides pleasure. So, the function is not pleasure, it’s for reproductive purposes (the pleasure is a required side benefit) so strike two!

The psychology is a fascinating one though, having talked about Tabula Rasa earlier, I’d like to bring Schrödinger’s cat into the discussion. You have a cat in a box with a device that can kill it. You don’t however know for sure if the cat is dead or alive unless you open the box. It is therefore said that the cat is both dead and alive. This is called quantum indeterminacy or observers paradox whereby the observation or measurement influences the outcome. In lay terms, it can be posited that a child can be born with both and which he/she grows up to be will depend on the measuring tool, which is society in this case. A child can become gay if exposed to homosexual acts early in life and can be heterosexual if adequately exposed. You can invoke Nature vs. Nurture here and you won’t be wrong. In the case of the interview above, it can be argued that the encounter with the ‘uncle’ tilted the scales in that direction. If it had being an ‘aunty’ for instance, it would have been something else. I posit that the number of gay people is on the rise because the act is been encouraged. It is no longer seen as an abnormality so more people are into it now. There is also the fact that some people are born with an adventurous spirit and that would push them to try things no one else has ever done or defy the odds to do that which should not be done. Many of gay people got into it because they wanted to experiment and it felt good enough that they continued. You know how they say something is so wrong but it feels so good? This is a typical example.

I think the spiritual angle offers most insight. We would have to start at the beginning though, as in, the very Genesis. Where it is written that “God made man in his own image and after his own likeness”, where it is written that “be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth” Genesis 1:28. From that point of view, it is wrong, wrong and very wrong! Since that’s the only point of view that potentially has a solution, It’s the only one that should matter!
Also in the book of Leviticus 20:13, the bible speaks against homosexuality. If you think that God should relax his laws because we are in the new age, you should note that he spoke against it in the New Testament as well in the book of Romans Chapter 1. God’s stand on the matter is clear; the passage of time does not change the word of God. It is sure, immutable and irrefutable. So, no matter what you may have been told, you should know that God did NOT create you to be gay and do things he has said should not be done.

Resolution
Having gone through all that, we have to come to a resolution of sorts, expecting the whole world to ditch our ingrained sense of normalcy and accept you all without blinking, is a lot to ask for. It’s like telling a man at 80 that his wife of over 50 years is not the mother of his children. That’s a blow to the gut, a shift of magnanimous proportions, and you expect him to smile and say “It’s nothing”. Before he finishes processing the information and the emotions that come with it, I won’t be surprised if he says he doesn’t want to ever see her again or worse(perhaps bring out a gun if he has one). He may of course later come to a resolution and accept her, but it won’t be easy and it would be a testament to his strength than anything else. It’s a lot to take in when you factor in the fact that we are Africans, ingrained in and defined by our cultures and traditions. When you add religion to that mix, homosexuality as a way of life stands no chance. I personally do not subscribe to violence as it often causes more harm than good even if it’s done with good intentions, so killing gays is not the way to go. Letting the ideology thrive on the other hand is not African.

A fourteen-year jail term for homosexuals is an interestingly hilarious idea, in that it doesn’t help the homosexual man/woman whilst making scape goats out of them, but still not a solution. For a nation, it may be okay for some to die to save the rest but that’s not what the church of God stands for. There is no genetic and physiological basis so there can be no genetic or physiological solution. It can be said to be a psychological (i.e. a state of mind, an addiction, an act of defiance, a coping mechanism, an experiment/adventure etc.) condition or a spiritual one (in which case you implicate the devil). Many have tried to pray it away with little returns:  psychologists too have had a go at the problem with little or no success. What then do we do? Something has to give, either gays change and become straight or the whole world changes our ideology and mindsets. In fairness, both sound like pipedreams but with intervention one can be pulled off. The thing about change is you have to want it badly, be properly informed and adequately motivated to pursue it. A prophet can’t just lay hands on you and poof you’re no longer gay but if you want to change, you would do what it takes. It won’t be easy but I believe it would be worth it.

In conclusion, Africa and Nigeria especially will never accept ‘gayism’ as a way of life in the foreseeable future , if you want to do your thing, do it somewhere else, but if you want to remain on our shores, you would have to get help or just keep quiet. I strongly recommend the former though, God is the creator of mankind, and if anything is broken, He is the one who can fix it. Not a pastor, not a prophet, not even you yourself can fix yourself. Go to God, tell Him what you want and tell Him you’re going nowhere until he does something about it. I’m sure he will turn up. That is my 2 cents.

I am @OverlordNoni

 
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Posted by on February 28, 2014 in Christianity, Discussion, Faith, Maiden, Social commentary

 

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Where are They?

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Everyone would you keep quiet and face forward? Hey! You over there, sit down or i’ll send you out.  Good boy! I want you to be extra attentive today because we have a guest and i’ll appreciate if you don’t disgrace yourselves and me in the process. Thank you. Now with a standing ovation, welcome into our midst the one and only super awesome, cool and oh-so-gorgeous-please-drop-dead international  Miss Jennifer! *claps*.

“Thank you, thank you everyone, you may take your seat. I’m really excited to be here and can’t wait for us to start today’s discussion”. But first i’ve gotta ask you this question “Where are they? Where have they all gone? And from where did all these new ones come from? I’m talking about ‘Ze Good Guys’ by the way” she takes her time to scan the faces of everyone seated and said “I dont think you get me, well let me explain it to you by putting it in perspective”    First things first, Who is a good guy? Most girls can easily identify a good guy upon first contact, he may or may not be gentle, but will most likely be gentlemanly in nature. Guys that are trained by their mothers to treat every woman with respect, treat them all like a queen whether they deserve it or not, who do not try to take advantage of them, don’t toy with their emotions just for sport, simply because they can. I’m talking about guys who say what they mean and mean what they say. There was a time when such guys were in abundance but right now? Not So much.     Which is why we are wondering where these good guys have gone to? Did an alien ship swoon down on earth, ask them to reveal themselves and carried most of them to space? Because if that were the case, I’ll propose we retaliate and get them back. We aren’t enjoying the ones they left behind. We’d happily exchange them tho, It’s just that we seem fairly certain no alien took them and we have a couple of ideas as to what happened to them ” 

Before i allow Bolu to say anything, do you guys think he’s one of them? *murmurs and whisperings* hmmm, i reserve my comment and you have the stage.   

Jennifer! I wonder why you’ll put that question out there? Shebi we will get back home. I comment my reserve. Anyways, back to the matter.    

I’ll run through some ideas. Could the fathers and mothers who are expected to teach their sons and daughters how to behave be blamed? If they talk and their children don’t listen or if they dont even teach them in the first place or perhaps they are so bitter and filled with spite from past experiences that they fill the mind of their children with unhealthy things thinking they are teaching them, the children then go out and practice what they’ve learnt. Could this be a part of the problem?   

“Bolu allow me to say that i can speak for my mother and she taught me well, taught me how to behave as a lady, showed me the way of God and i took her lessons to heart. I owe my awesoneness to her”  

  “As do i to my mother Jennifer”    

This is what I think. It’s the fault of the Girls ‘Ze Bad Girls ‘. Chill and let me explain, put down the knife please. Thank you!   

  Proverbs 7:27-28 NIV:

27 “Look,” says the Teacher, “this is what I have discovered: “Adding one thing to another to discover the scheme of things— 

28  NIV: while I was still searching but not finding— I found one upright man among a thousand, but not one upright woman among them all.   

Now I didn’t write that, the Preacher did, and according to his wisdom, there are more bad girls than bad boys in the world, I can’t categorically say why but considering that Solomon had about 300 wives and 700 concubines, I’d say that almost makes him an authority on the subject. So can we just leave it at that? Great! So these girls have done bad things to these guys and these erstwhile good guys have been So hurt that they feel the only way to deal is to retaliate. Not to the offenders but to the ‘innocent ‘ victims out there.   

  This process initiates a chain reaction. Wait….Do i need to say why they are called bad girls? Without skewing in any particular direction, the Only standard that we can use to arrive at Good or Bad is still Morality! While I know that potentially raises some questions, this is not a debate on Logic So chill. Morality is simply a sense of right and wrong. It may be influenced by culture and traditions but It’s essentially what we feel is right and what we feel is wrong. *note that I used ‘what we feel ‘ and not what we are told *. There are some things that you know isn’t right, you don’t need to be told to not have sex with your own blood sisters or mother. It’s just not right! Stealing what doesn’t belong to you is wrong, justify it all you want, it is what it is – Wrong!!!   

  That is morals for you, bad girls(people) generally don’t give much care for the rules. I’ll do what I want with my life and stuff like that is what you’ll hear out of their mouths. They also generally don’t know restraint and I think this is the crux of the matter. They do what they want not caring who gets hurt in the process. The hurt party decides to take his pain out on the town, goes on a spree doing what he wants and not caring who gets hurt too. That way the venom keeps spreading until almost every body has had a taste of it someway somehow. This i believe is why there are many nasty guys out there today. They just cant find it in them to care anymore. So you see a guy who doesn’t even respect you or your body who wants to have sex with you after day 1, i believe he just doesnt care and this is just an offshoot or a reaction to what was done to them.  Jennifer you have something to say?   

“You know i do Bolu, i dont ,agree 100% with your attempt to place the blame on ladies”   

“I have to interject here with just one word ‘Eve ‘ but you can continue now. ”   

“Hahaha, are you one of those people who blame all the world’s problem on Eve eating the forbidden fruit? ”  

  “Far from it Miss J. Just continue”   

Using the Bible as a reference has me in a bind but I still think It’s due to the weakness of men. You guys form macho and put your muscles on display but when it comes to the matters of the heart, you are just weak. How do you go about justifying hurting someone who has done you nothing simply because you were hurt? That’s just not fair! And That’s a sign of weakness if you ask me. I’m not saying girls are saints in this matter either but your argument is faulty!    

I’ll respond with one word “Adam”   See we can go back and forth on this matter, we’d have to start from the garden of Eden and we would just be justifying! The person of Adam is flawed and God moved to fix that by sending His Son Jesus, if we live like him, I believe we’d be able to live above the pain and the hurt. Remember that he was beaten mercilessly, a crown of thorns was placed on his head and he was hung on the cross yet he had the fortitude to say “Father forgive them” He still died for us and sits on the Father’s right hand pleading good things for us. That’s the kind of life we should try to emulate because “An Eye for an eye leaves everybody blind “.   

  So if you are tired of the kind of men we have around today, just pray God sends you one after His heart! That’s the only guarantee you have of having a meaningful and potentially marriage headed relationship. Pray for someone who dares to be different, who doesn’t subscribe to the norm, who doesn’t follow the crowd, who has a heart for God. And on a final note, the same goes for you, “God will not be mocked, whatsoever a (wo)man sows he shall reap” Be the kind of person that you are praying for your man to be. And if you have a sordid history, once you give your life to Christ, he no longer remembers that shit. Its what you do from now on that matters. Sow good seeds and reap same. C’est fini! Shikena! Lobatan! Dassol!   

  “Miss Jennifer! Thank you for joining us today, I hope you’d be able to join us subsequently! God bless you and may your feet not fall from the way. May God keep you.”   

“If you’ll pray like this everytime, then I’ll surely come again. Thanks for having me.”   

Its a wrap folks, i’d like to read your views on Ze Matter so please feel free to drop a comment in the comments section below.    

Thank you! Continue creating a New Reality for yourselves. Ciao!   

I remain  @overlordnoni

 
3 Comments

Posted by on November 11, 2013 in Maiden

 

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